bitbanter

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Ethereum’s Dencun upgrade ushered in a new era for the cryptocurrency project, promising world-altering “bug fixes and performance improvements.” See below for a full list of changes, straight from GitHub:

• Bug fixes
• Massive fee reduction for the cost of storing transient data on-chain, improving transaction costs for roll-ups
• Additional 80% reduction in data costs for roll-ups that demonstrate Ethereum Alignment (sacrificing money in extraneous burns or smart contract hacks)
• OP_SELFDESTRUCT now physically harms the person who invokes it, matching expected behavior
• Additionally, huge cost reduction in NFT minting costs, by forcibly adding OP_SELFDESTRUCT to any bytecode that resembles ERC-721 when submitted to the network, and physically hurting the submitter twice (once for neglecting to include OP_SELFDESTRUCT, and once again for forcing the protocol to include it)
• Gwei is now called Guano
• Sharding is now called “Guano Sharding”
• For every 32 ETH put into the staking contract, an apology letter is sent to “gary_gensler@sec.gov”
• Vitalik’s master node no longer makes a loud beeping noise when he places it into his 35L travel backpack
• Brian Armstrong’s master node now makes a louder, more prominent beeping noise when he rehypothecates your Coinbase Liquid Staked ETH
• Dankrad’s master node now streams “DOMO ARIGATO, MR PROTO SHARDO” to the nearest Sonos speaker whenever it finalizes a block
• Validators are now required, at the protocol level, to send uplifting compliments to block builders and searchers
• Enshrines the first-ever native tradfi/crypto bridge into the protocol, by kindly asking Citadel to take over MEV Boost
• To improve scalability further, the rollup definition has been semantically relaxed to include Solana, and potentially, in a future upgrade, JP Morgan
• A significantly less capable subset of the EVM has been enshrined as “BitVM Mode” to entice venture capital back
• OP_OFAC has been added; only accessible to certified prospective ETF issuers
• Shrines have now been enshrined in the protocol to improve tax treatments in jurisdictions with religion-based deductions
• Native liquid staking has been implemented, by redirecting all new stakers to either the Lido or RocketPool contracts
• All new submitted smart contracts are default licensed using the Business Source License, to match Web2 developer expectations
• POAPs are now issued automatically to anyone sending a transaction from the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea
• ETH is no longer money
• Protocol-level USD price oracle added, by watching Ethereum Foundation outbound transactions and assuming they sell at the top
• Coinbase’s L2 has been rebranded “Extend,” new Coinbase Layer-1 “Extinguish” to launch during next Ethereum upgrade, dramatically improving scalability
• “Fraud Proofs” are now called “Zero-Klep Proofs,” for narrative reasons
• As a kind of exit tax, any protocol that decides to leave Ethereum for its own sovereign chain will be programmatically forced to appear on the Bankless podcast
• Social slashing has now been codified at the protocol level, by automatically disallowing Farcaster accounts who make bad posts from transacting using their associated ENS addresses
• Performance improvements